When I was young I was so excited to leave the small place of Star Valley for a more exciting destination that I forgot how wonderful I had it. Since leaving the week after High School graduation I have searched for stability in my life. I knew once leaving that going back wouldn't provide the same stability as I had before. The last couple of months in my life I have been back on the search for stability and have only found more disarray. I have counted up the number of moves that I have made and I am currently standing at 12. 12 moves in nine years, not too bad. The number of roommates is much more...I stopped counting after I reached 50 because it made me a bit nauseous.
I had finally found stability in life and the Lord decided that it was time to change things around me again. So I find myself at a bit of a loss into life right now. My best friend and roommate, Kristy got married last Friday. It was such a big wonderful day. I am so excited for this next chapter in her life. But now I find myself wondering what to do next? I never thought that this is where I would be at this time in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying life and trying to live it up with the opportunities that I have at hand. However, at this time, I can't seem to fill in the intense loneliness that I feel. I try to spend my time serving and helping others, but for some reason or another I still walk away empty. I wish I understood or had a solution to help, but for now all I can do it take life one day at a time and hope that miracles happen and my prayers can be answered. I often wonder if my prayers get mixed up in translation on their way to the Big Man Upstairs. I have a pretty good sense of humor but lately I feel like my humor and the Lord's are on two different pages. It's a good thing that I can usually laugh at everything eventually.
One of my most favorite quotes is from Sister Margorie Pay Hinckley. I read it every morning when I wake up, it gives me hope and courage to make it one more day.
9 years ago
